January 11, 2013



Ok. So. This was supposed to be horrible. We had boycotted seeing this film on principle. We couldn’t get past the absurdity of taking a board game of grids and red pegs and turning it into anything with substance. Having successfully avoided it through theaters, and receiving an abominable preliminary review from my trusted critic roommate, I was sure I had missed the window of being made to see it. That is until one Mr. Taylor Kitsch appeared as Gambit in Wolverine igniting a fire in her loins that could only be sated by viewing every item in his filmography. As the supportive friend I am and now with morbid curiosity for this film that had sunk so horribly at the box office, I willing sat down to invest the time and give Battleship it’s moment of couch glory. I went into it with the mindset that it would be two hours of attractive people in perilous situations surrounded by water and impressive effects and I was not wrong. However, it also had decent dialogue and it actually took the time to develop it’s characters. Though we couldn’t actually remember Brooklyn Decker’s character’s name and we kept calling her “Hungry”. But that aside, I actually kinda liked this movie. Granted, it’s basically water Transformers without Shia LaBeouf or friendly Autobots, but so is the forthcoming Pacific Rim, and we will be seeing that too. I’m actually sad Kitsch caught such crap for this movie, he was understatedly hilarious with one liners and situational puns and hey… He’s hot. Rihanna wasn’t horrible either. She didn’t wow me with untapped acting talent but she had a natural presence that blended well into the setting. There were giggly moments when the actual game board logic was incorporated, but it was kept to a minimum and was done tastefully. Best part of the film was the recruitment of legit retired navy sailors into saving the world. You could tell they had sea years on them and they brought a level of respect to the story I had not expected. In conclusion, and a drastic turn of events from a few hours ago, I actually wouldn’t discourage any action movie fan from seeing this. Go ahead, it’s worth the 131 minute runtime.

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January 4, 2013

Sleepless In Seattle

This is one of those love stories that I unwisely measure my own love life against. It is an all time favorite, heart-warming, irrational tale of how bi-coastal soulmates come together via the radio waves and one precocious kid. I can’t NOT watch it’s when it’s on TV and for some ungodly reason, I don’t own a copy.  This movie always makes me happy. It reminds me that while it is important to appreciate what we have, we should never settle for less than we deserve. It also reinforces the notion that sometimes  outrageous acts in the name of love pay off. They haven’t worked out for me yet and I just end up looking crazy, but one day i’ll find my compliment who will appreciate them. Meg Ryan’s spazzy neurosis is relatable to any woman who’s ever fallen victim to the battle that rages between our hearts and better judgement. She leans on close friend Rosie O’Donnell to be her voice of reason who unfortunately (or fortunately)  encourages her to pursue the mystery radio man. Tom Hanks remains ever calm and collected despite the stirring accounts of his close friend and real life wife Rita Wilson and refrains from indulging in the avalanche of eligible women reaching out to him. That is until his young son takes off across the country to New York City to meet Ryan and bring the two together in a cinematic homage to An Affair To Remember. Though Hanks and Ryan share very little actual screen time, the pair  have a natural, easy chemistry that melts my heart. Obviously, as the two were later paired up again in You’ve Got Mail. This movie has laughs,  tears and two of my favorite cities in the world. Ladies love it and men get credit for watching it with us. So guys, pick up a pizza, a bottle of wine and Sleepless in Seattle on your way home and make it a date night!

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January 3, 2013

This was a bit of a long movie day so bare with me. First up…


Mr. Deeds (2002)

This formulaic rags to ridiculous riches story is not my favorite Sandler flick, but it’s also not my least. (That would be click. Mostly because it was the backdrop of a horrific date, but that’s my own personal connotation.) Deeds starts off happy as a clam in his small town with his successful pizza business, the picture of ignorant bliss, when he is  whisked away to the bright lights and big city of New York and informed he is the sole heir to a bagillion dollar corporation. Of course, it could not be so simple as to take the money and live happily ever after, then we wouldn’t have a movie. Multiple plots to take advantage of Deeds quickly unfold and we watch as the manipulative schemes of big business and headline news  swirl around the good-natured Deeds. Winona plays the deceptively delicate face of the newspaper trying to get close to Deeds in order to write a scathing tell all exclusive, but of course falls madly in love with him just when the truth is revealed. The only people he could truly trust in the city were his gang of half wit helpers, who like him, have only the best intentions. This movie has the usual Happy Madison crew of bit-parts and the classic Sandler slap-stick you expect to see. My favorite of which was his disgusting, frost-bitten, black foot that comes in handy for rescuing damsels in distress.  Of course by the credits, all is made right with the world, the evil corporate snake is beheaded and the good guy gets the girl… and a couple mil. What more could you ask for really? Like I stated earlier, it’s no Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore but it will tickle your funny bone in the uniquely Sandler fashion. It’s a fine family movie and I usually stop for a minute when I see it’s on TV.

The Watch

I’m sad to say, I was disappointed. I had such high hopes for this comedy with some of my favorite funny people that I may have over-psyched myself for it. My reasoning: Jonah Hill, Vince Vaughn & Ben Stiller + aliens in suburbia = Awesomesauce. Though my logic is sound, the math didn’t work out. I found myself losing focus and getting distracted by my own feet during this film. That is to say, I was bored. Disclaimer, I wasn’t feeling well and this might have affected the hilarity in some small way, but not that much.  The film had its moments and it’s failure was not for lack of trying, but the experience was very similar to that of Vaughn’s other non-fave of mine, Couple’s Retreat. It just wasn’t doin’ it for me.  Best part: Stiller and Hill interrogating a skater punk “Look at my face and understand no one.”

Then the day took an epic turn…


X-Men  &   X2

Yes,  I am a girl who loves action movies based on comics. Christmas day brought Hulk Hands to the house and I was more interested in them than the child who received them. I admit and embrace it and want the world to know we are out there; and we’re much less rare then you’d think. We love you Stan Lee! Everyone knows the story and premiss of this franchise so I won’t bore you with the plot line details, but even if you are not a comic reader (i’m not) see this series for the sheer awesomeness of the effects. We follow the characters through a myriad of adventures and dilemmas they work through and most of us have our favorites. I am a fan of Mr. Jackman’s portrayal of Wolverine myself. I am forever in awe of how he is “simultaneously the most feminine and masculine man in the world.” There’s no brain teaser or ridiculous plot twists to follow so it’s just a good old American comic fun time. The concept that everyone is in someway mutant or different and therefore no one is actually different because we are alike in our different-ness, is an underlying moral to the story which a good friend of mine could discuss ad nauseum, and while it is an important message, it’s not at the forefront of my mind while watching Magneto manipulate metal and Wolverines strapping chest heave as his adamantium claws emerge with the trademark *SNIKT!* sound, and it’s surely not social commentary uh… effecting the audience while Rebecca Romjin slinks around in her blue body paint. I recommend this franchise for people who have eyes and like things. Smart-mouthed, badass mutants defending the population from other pissed-off, disenfranchised individuals is a good time for all. It’s just that simple.

Favorite Quotes:

Wolverine: Hey! It’s me.       Cyclops: Prove it!
Wolverine: You’re a dick.     Cyclops: Okay.

Magneto: You “homo sapiens” and your guns!

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January 7, 2013

The Covenant

Oh goodness. Where to begin? This is not an Oscar contender by any means, but it is a supernatural feast for the eyes. Four privileged, private school guys played by (in order of reasons to watch this movie ) Taylor Kitsch, Steven Straight, Chace Crawford, and (sorry) Toby Hemingway, are the latest heirs in a deeply rooted, northeastern, WITCHY brotherhood going about their studies generally inconspicuously when a new boy (Sebastian Stan aka Bucky from Captain America) transfers in and shakes everything up. When strange occurrences draw attention to their warlock lore, the original four question each other and some bromantic melodrama ensues. Once they’ve discerned it’s not one of them wreaking havoc on the town, their attention turns to Bucky, who has been conveniently scarce yet present at the scenes of the incidents. As you could probably guess, Bucky is a descendant of a fifth and semi-rival line of witches come to fuck shit up and take his place among them… or perhaps in place of them. His shows of power make no attempt to hide his power and he quickly turns all his devious attention on the strongest and oldest of the four, a hispanic Taylor Lautner look-a-like  (main character and second hottest reason to watch this movie). Bucky uses Kitsch and Lautner’s girlfriends, Jessica Lucas and Laura Ramsey (of She’s the Man) as bait for the boys and unleashes an absolutely HEINOUS curse on them, covering them in thousands of spiders resulting in debilitating bites and hysteria. This spidey tactic is beyond deplorable and anyone with an extreme arachna-version should look away during these scenes. I hate spiders and they got to me. There are a few creepy moments and jumpy-outy shots that are disconcerting, but nothing terribly scary.  You can definitely tell this is from the producer’s of  Underworld from the general atmosphere and they borrowed a few famous shots from themselves. Of course everything comes to a head when Bucky and Lautner face off which is actually a pretty well choreographed fight scene, and it garnered the best lines of the movie (see below). Everything is righted in this little rainy world when Bucky is banished and the town in general is none the wiser. If I were one of the girlfriends, I don’t know if I could continue seeing either of the boys, but they were hot enough that i’d consider it. If you’re bored and it’s on, it’ll pass the time. Everyone’s generally attractive yet not overwhelmingly memorable. We watched it for Kitsch and his exceptional muscle tone and regretted nothing. Comparisons were drawn between this and Twilight and we feel this would have done better had been released later; It was ahead of it’s time with it’s supernatural teen melodrama.

Best Lines (All delivered by the silly silly Sebastian Stan):

“Ooooo WITCHY!”   & my absolute favorite “Imma make you my WIOTCH!” Oh god. That one actually elicited a verbal “Wat!? He did not just say… omg.” and both have now been fondly adopted as a part of our official apartment vernacular.


John Carter

Continuing our Kitsch flicks, we went right along to John Carter. Back when this movie was just a vague red poster emblazoned with a cryptic “JC” we were intrigued. When It was given a full name and short preview, we were excited and agreed to see it. That’s where the praise ends. Granted, upon initial theater viewing, Mr. Kitsch was not yet known to us as anything more than an attractive native of sorts so we while we went in with excited curiosity, there was no hormonal drive In place. The first 45 minutes to an hour are great. The archetypal man out of time and place adventure set on what comes to be known as Mars complete with a cast of cryptic bad guys (Mark Strong), strange alien creatures, and a lovely (VERY humanoid) leading lady (Lynn Collins). As is true in any story of this type once Carter gets his footing on the alien planet, his drive focuses on the lady and now that I think about it, he really didn’t seem that concerned with getting back home passed the 15 minute mark. Way to drop the ball John… Oh well, he didn’t really have anything to go back to anyway. Somewhere around the hour mark I completely lose interest. I honestly can’t tell you why, it just loses me. It’s got action, adventure, character development and adequate dialogue it just tries to be more than it is I think. I perk up again for the Gladiator-esque battle near the end but once it’s over and we all know all he has left to do is claim the girl and stop the wedding I just want him to get there and it be done already. As this movie came back on our radar with the Kitsch resurgence I was willing to give it a second viewing thinking perhaps I had written it off unfairly or that I would have some new appreciation for it for Taylor… But alas, I still don’t care. I don’t DISlike this movie, I just don’t need to see it again. Here’s what I will take with me from John Carter: The excellent preview song Peter Gabriel’s cover of Arcade Fire’s My Body is a Cage, Mars’ amazing dog creature Woola, and Taylor Kitsch’s superb physique. Oh and as usual, Mark Strong is a dick. Dude, you’re type cast, but you make me hate you so well. See it, don’t see it, you’re life won’t be changed either way, but definitely listen to that song … now.

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January 2, 2013


Moonrise Kingdom

What an interesting little film. It is classic, quirky, Wes Andersen style with many of my favorite people on one island. I honestly never thought i’d see Bill Murray and Bruce Willis in a car together and Bruce certainly wouldn’t be dressed as a New England mall cop. Frances McDormand and Bill Murray (always a favorite of mine) play their roles of lawyerly disinterested parents superbly and in the first five minutes you can actually feel what it must be like to live in their home. Edward Norton is excellent as a well-intentioned scout leader and if I ever went away to camp, i’d want him running the show. I love the overall mood of this film more than any of it’s individual pieces and despite it’s protagonists being pre-pubescent, I true to form, long for the relationship they have. Sure in their motives and trusting only the knowledge of books and skills acquired in scouts, the young couple sets out on a journey to escape their mundane lives and be accepted by each other, finding themselves and staking claim to their own idyllic land in the process. Accessible in its language and relatable to our own recollection of teenage wanderlust, this film holds a special niche in my collection. As is true with any Wes Anderson film, it’s not for everyone. My 78 year old grandmother for instance, despised it. But if she had come to me beforehand I could have predicted that. Children running away together, flat humor and general disregard for authority don’t exactly appeal to her demographic. But I liked it and I would recommend it to any of my peers.

Favorite Lines:

Bruce to Frances: “Well, I didn’t know!” The timing and delivery were perfect.

Bill Murray [during a storm]: “I hope the roof flies off and I get sucked up into space.” He’s not even kidding.

Sam: What happened to your hand?   Suzy: I got hit in the mirror.

Sam: I accidentally built a fire while I was sleepwalking. I have no memory of this.

I could go on, but that would take all the fun out of it for you!

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January 1, 2013

January 1, 2013


An excellent way to begin the year. This retro-futuristic look at the mob is a real temple pleaser. You have to be willing to pay attention but if you can follow, it is extraordinary. Bruce Willis delivers his anticipated devilishly handsome, devil-may-care, growly performance and Joseph Gordon-Levitt did a young Bruce proud. Must say the prosthetic face he was sporting did not help the story and actually was more of a distraction than anything else. I think if viewers couldn’t figure out their connection… that would have been their loss. Don’t deprive JGL of his lovely features. Loved Emily Blunt’s impressive lack of a British accent and her complete immersion in the mid-west farmer’s culture. I have to credit this film with having the most disturbing use of time traveling torture and for successfully grossing me out without a single drop of blood shown. My only real complaint about this theoretical future is that there are still printers of any sort. Though it was refreshing they weren’t using invisible, credit card sized cellphones. This is probably the most realistic rendition of the future i’ve seen in quite a while… minus the time jumping thing. All in all I would highly recommend this film to anyone wanting to see something they haven’t already seen a million times.

Favorite Lines:
Bruce to his former JGL self: “Shut your stupid fucking child mouth!”
Emily to JGL: “I will blow you the fuck in half!”

See it and let me know what you think!

January 1, 2013

The Pajama Game

I’ve taken it upon myself to share all the old movies I grew up with with my roommate. The Pajama Game was a tape I nearly wore out. My childhood was full of musicals and strong female characters and with role models like Doris Day molding me it’s no wonder I turned out to be such a strong willed individual who will sing through any situation. This 1957 gem is a glorious example of how far women’s rights had already come and watching it back now i’m made even more aware of how far they’ve come since. As a child I was never phased by the comments and pet names that would have any decent woman these days screaming “Sexual Harassment” to HR, or as they refer to it, the Grievance Committee. Infectious tunes and dance moves the King of Pop, Michael Jackson couldn’t help but borrow, keep this little film about the union’s struggle for a seven and a half CENT raise bopping along. The Pajama Game was ahead of it’s time and pushed the envelope of outspoken and strong women and i’m glad to have been exposed to it growing up! If you haven’t seen it, you should; If only to gasp at the simplicity of life in the 50’s.

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A New Year

Ah, yes 2013 is here. Aside from scoffing at Mayans and surviving the apocalypse this means a new year of movies! My best friend and I are movie enthusiasts who spend most if not all of our free time viewing and discussing films. With our complimentary tastes, she favoring more macabre and me rom-coms, and our combined love for everything in between, we have generated quite the comprehensive library in our apartment. Each of us having a wall of over 500 DVDs and Blu-Rays, If there’s something you would like to watch, surely one of us has it. After years of being questioned “How many movies do you watch!?” I decided to keep track. Beginning New Year’s Day 2012, I began a list.  Rounding out the year at 371, I was actually surprised the number wasn’t higher. Intrigued at my own findings, i’ve decided to track my movies again this year with the added task of writing a brief review or impression of each film. Looking back at last year’s list I could tell by the patterns and moods of the films where i was in my life. For instance, sparse viewings meant i was seeing someone, the sudden surge of John Cusak films indicated a break-up, and blocks of one actors’ entire filmography meant my roommate had a new obsession. Though not everyone understands it, movies are important to me. They let you escape your mundane everyday life in exchange for an out-of-this-world adventure, or a glimpse of the past, or my favorite an incredible love story that you will undoubtedly measure all your own relationships against. I am excited to see what this next year will bring in life and film and I shall begin my list… Now.

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